MOVED

I'm back... but my blog has moved!
Please change your Favorites/Links to http://www.sixsteps.org

NOTE: this domain, www.gisrs.net AND my email addresses @gisrs.net will be discontinued as after January 31 and will no longer be avilable!

My new email and msn is here: aleung at sixsteps dot org

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Prayers for you and me and us

God, give us grace to accept with
serenity the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things
which should/must be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Amen.

-Reinhold Niebuhr, 1892–1971

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Raining down tears from heaven

I promised myself that i'd make a final post before Wednes Nov16..so here it is.

At midnight, i'll be starting my own little 40day period of Lent (Sunday's are included but not counted, as it's set aside as Sabbath)...all the way up until Jan1.

the purpose of this is seriously, for me to prepare myself for Passion06, the 4day worship conference in Nashville, TN, USA on Jan 2-5, 2006...i'll be joining like almost 15,000 college/university students from all over the world in seeking to better understand how to live all of life for His glory.
secondly...coz i really need it, for myself. to figure all "this" out; to set my mind on things above and not on things on earth; to set my mind's attention and my heart's affections on my God and King...coz i'm totally lost as to what in the world is going on.

So here's the plan:
1) *no blogging* till after Passion06. i realize i tend to blog very regularly, almost everyday, to keep a good record of my thoughts n feelings, but no more of that for now. whomever is reading this, if you interested in how i'm doing, call me--six four seven, two nine seven, two five nine seven. in the meantime,
2) i'll be writting daily by hand in a journal..letters to God. instead of letting it all out onto this blog, i'll be letting it all out in written form to God..it's gonna take a bit more time, but i'm up for it.
3) devotional. i've dug up my archive of "prepare the way" devotionals from OneDay03 and will use those as they focus on getting ready for the conference.
4) I'll follow the 11 Day Prayer Journey (by Charlie Hall), for the days just prior to Passion06..just to really ramp things up Spiritually, if not already..last 11days of the Lent will be post finals, so they'll be lots more time and energy to really relax.

school's getting pretty krazy, but i'm still alive..i live to die another day. Passion Toronto is coming up, so i'm really looking for that, which is next Tues night. then it's basically Finals :( and... Christmas. boy, am i looking forward to that! ~sighs~ insert sarcasm. i really wish it was all about Jesus, this whole Christmas thing, coz it's supposed to be, about Christ's birth! i dont know how it became such a hallmark, materialistic, money money money presents gifts presents fiasco. shop till u drop. i'm not against gifts and presents of course, but, even us Christians have belittled the season and removed the importance and sanctity of the holiday. "here is our King, here is our Love, here is our God who's come to bring us back to Him; he is the One, he is Jesus."

so for your sake, and my sake, for the sake of the meaning that society's given to Christmas, here's my wish list:

A Fender bass amp:
Bassman 100 combo with tilt back (100w, 1x10”, piezo horn) $499.99usd, OR
Rumble 100 combo (100w, 1x15”) $499.99usd

A Fender American Vintage bass guitar:
‘57 Precision Bass, maple (w/case) $1,827.99usd OR
‘62 Jazz Bass, rosewood (w/case) $1,999.99usd OR
‘75 Jazz Bass, maple OR rosewood (w/case) $2,041.99 OR, my favourite:
1970 Jazz Bass® Natural Closet Classic LTD Custom Shop Limited Edition...$$$
OR a cheaper Ibanez BTB300 bass guitar in black!

Tech21 SansAmp Bass Driver DI ~$300cdn from Long & McQuade

XBOX 360 Bundle...$499.99cdn

A bluetooth headset for my Sony Ericsson S710a... the S.E. one with callerId would be great, or one with noise-cancellation would work too!

However, i think Britney best said it in one her Christmas songs..."All i want for Christmas is ____!"

And then there's Boxing Day...my favourite time of the year; it's basically to me--nerds wake up early to go to BB/FS to get cheap deals on boys'toys! usually, it's just me n my dad, but Pistachio mentioned that we could wake up early and camp out together, so, might be a bit more fun this year:)

after that...my fellowship, Aletheia, is supposed to be having their Winter Camp, Dec30 to Jan 2, which is supposed to cost as much as my Passion06 registration fee, so can't really attend, but meh, but stop by to check em out during day.

after that, Chris Luk n I will be off to Nashville for our first, and hopefully of many, Passion conference. and don't know if i'll have much to say before midnight, tonite, so... so long, and goodnight, see you in 2006.

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In need of prayer

There's a saying...

"the future is that time when you'll wish you 'd done what you aren't doing now."

Oh man...what i would give to be able to do just that, to say just that, and all the while, mean it completely, truthfully, honestly, genuinely, with every fibre of my being, risking it all, surrendering everything, trusting God will do a miracle.

i just pray that i would get that chance, that opportunity, to do what i haven't done yet, to say what i've never said before, to confess that i'm really not that strong n i messed up real bad, to express what i feel and have always felt since as long as i remember regardless, to let go & let God, to sincerely apologize...to reveal the true shape of my heart.

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What the heck is going on?!?

Somebody talk to me - and tell me what in the world is going on!?!?

I don't want to hear rumours or 'i heard that, he/she said that, this and that'--com'on, if it ain't permissable in a court of law, all this hearsay crap, then it aint acceptable in life period!

Eye/ear-witness accounts please!

I am arms wide open...ready to listen.

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What's done is done

Time has come, what's done is done
It's time to move on
To another place, another space, maybe circling some other sun.
Don't ask why, don't ask how
I still can't explain
To say goodbye, goodbye for now till I see you again

*In the sunlight that's where I'll be
In the moon night close your eyes, you will see me
In the sunrise in the twilight I'll be the morning and the evening star
I will be there with you wherever you are

Life is strange, such joy and pain
The betrayal and the kiss
It maybe meant to be, maybe destiny
Leads us down a path like this.
Child is born, true love is sworn
All the in-between
Well you just walk on, walk on until the path is gone
Learning love is the only everything *

So it's goodnight, things go wrong
but it's alright
We're all just passin' through here
At the speed of light

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To all my friends who own an iPod

Beware of getting the "iPod finger" from prolonged use!

To avoid getting this ailment:
*Don't use your thumb to scroll. Instead hold the iPod in one hand, and use the finger of your other hand to move the wheel
*Use a neutral grip - the wrist straight, not bent
*Switch the hand you use to hold your iPod frequently
*Rather than choosing songs individually, set up a playlist, or simply put your iPod on shuffle mode so it chooses the music

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Are you gonna be there?

At first, i thought i saw a shooting star tonite.. the most beautiful thing i ever did see, in pure white light, the star radiated with a beauty i knew could only be from God. then i realized, that it was only there for a moment...one second it was in my sight, the next it was gone. what more, was that all the light that was within this beautiful star, existed in ages before & what i saw now was a remnant, a reflection of what was many many days ago in the past. what i saw, was in the past and does not actually exist in this very moment in time. in other words you coud say...that it is history :S

On the ride home tonite...i could not help but realize, that whom was before the closest friend i ever did have, her interest in me as a friend is fading (?). i am trying to give it the time and space that it/she needs, but ~sighs~ the cold emptiness just numbs my heart. it's just from the lack of conversation & the loudness of the music, it seemed that she did not want to talk, that she had nothing to say to me, noting to ask me, absolutely no interest in even the smallest of small talk. when it used to be that she could talk to me about anything and everything on her mind, it's like these days, she can hardly face me, coz i make her feel uncomfortable, uneasy, etc. what was so messed up that things have to be like this, why does her heart seem to be so hard? why the heck is satan pulling us apart like this?!? is God not strong enuf to overcome our mess ups / satans schemes?
~there are moments when i just open my mouth, words come out and disappears with a one sentence response.. why is it that we just talk honestly and openly as we used to? why can't we even start from scratch? seems like neither can work, so where does that leave us? i do not know.

To say that i'm frustrated would be an understatement. to say that i'm doubting God's love and power to overcome our weakness, would be an accourate thing to say. to say that my faith n trust in Christ has been dwindling, would definitely be true. and to say that i feel all alone in this, like nobody cares, or understands what i'm going thru, would also be accurate.

Where are you when i need somebody to talk to? where are you when i need someone to hear my cries, to feel my pain? where are you when i need someone to pray with, to let out all my sorrows n struggles to? would you please be kind and considerate to me, and what i'm struggling thru now, to just compromise and agree that we disagree..to let true healing, forgiviness and reconciliation flourish? when will you realize, that our friendship was made to last our lives, that the beginning of tomorrow will only start when you are ready?

If I was down, would *your* arms lift me up to higher ground, with just the strength of your love? When I was lost, would I find something in your eyes to lead me home?

And if it all went wrong, would you be there to hold? it's easy to be there through the good times, but when the times get hard..would you stay or walk away?

Are you gonna be there when the rain comes? are you gonna be there with a warm touch? Can you swear you'll be there with a real love? Are you gonna be there? will you stand by my side through the bad times? through whatever we'll be will you still be mine? Will you stay in my life for a lifetime?? are you gonna be there?

When I need someone to hold, someone to be there for me..are you gonna be there?

In all my world, if it should all fall down, will you be there? Be there to turn it around--will you still care? Can I depend on you to see me through this life? if it all goes wrong, will you still make it right?

When I need someone beside me, someone there for me, are you gonna be..? There with the arms to hold me, there with the love I need, Then will you be there? will you be there?, heart and soul, I need to know..

Edit: i kinda slept thru the moment of silence earlier today, so here, to all those who have fallen for the freedom and peace i have today, whether Canadian, American or otherwise part of the Coalition forces, for their sacrifice in WW I, II, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, Middle East, and wherever the War on Terror may be:

Lest we forget.

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Still hitting it hard

Can you hear it in my voice? was it something I let slip
Does the whole world know.. isn't it obvious?

I was the one who's in control, now I'm acting like a fool
Do my feelings show, is my face aglow
Isn't it obvious?

That I don't know what I'm doing anymore
I'm feeling like a little boy caught up in emotions
I'm out of control, isn't it obvious?

Do you see my hands?.. they tremble
Wonder why I can't look you in the eyes
Don't know how long I can keep this inside
Isn't it obvious?

Suddenly these emotions are in control of my heart
Can you see it in my eyes?
Every glance, every smile must give me away
'Cause I feel so much I can't hide

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What's going on!?

I received in the mail a couple days a go, from the Ministry of the Attorney General:
SUMMONS TO JUROR.
...i have to report to the University Courthouse on Nov.28 @ 8:30am. hopefully, the sittings won't take long, & they'll let me off, coz i'm a student! n i've got like so much stuff due that week.

(....still awaiting letter from courts for court date for my parking ticket....apparently they have me down for parking without a permit on Lil's street overnight. i admit, i've no permit, but jst didn't went there late & left even later; this should all just be a misunderstanding.)

Furthermore, seems the condo corporation incharge of my townhouse complex hasn't paid the water bill to the City, and we've been charged like $67,000 to be paid by mid-Nov, or it'll be back charged to our property taxes. that's the total amount for all the 32 townhouse units in our complex...i think the notice, sent to one of our neighbors, said "or your water will be shut off". wack n weird, haven no idea wut's up. but met up with a few of our neighbors, and trying to set up a course of action, and i'm looking into the Condominium Act to see wut we can do about this.

And today, got my OSAP cheque in the mail (wasn't able to setup direct-deposit)...so, got some $$ to put in the bank =D too bad it's not thAt much, like my how much my sis or Lil gets!

Hmmm... *she* just messaged me on msn..very short conversation.. i wonder wut's up, why now, all of a sudden; wut circumstanes led up to such. i miss her immensely,..just the simple things of talking n sharing with her about everything, what i've been thinking lately, how i've been feeling about school/work/future/Spiritually/emotionally, etc. just the pure friendship n care for each other i miss. i really wish she'd just pick up the phone and call me. (i tried many times, many weeks ago, and that got me nowhere..so, can't do much to get her to open up). i care about her lots as a friend, and feels so weird not knowing how to specifically pray for her...dunno wut she's going thru, like wut's really been nagging her heart-strings, why she's skipped church, why she hasn't been ontop of schoolwork like i know she can be. ~sighs~ i really hope God's watching out for her; just wish i could be there for her.

;-1

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